Should I say I can't help it? Maybe. But I still think that if I just really find it in me to discipline myself then I wouldn't have to suffer the consequences of these things.
I had been evaluating myself, always actually, and I had always known that these things about me will surely bring me down. Oh well, I had been trying of course. But you know how it is. It is always easier to do what you know is wrong that doing what is right.
◘ I have the tendency to be irresponsible. That is why I'm workaholic. That is why I push myself to the limit. That is why when I have things to be done I have to do it without stopping or as long as I still have the drive to do it because if I stop or my laziness takes over, I could never finish anything.
◘ The Ultimate Procrastinator. I always put things off then regret it later. Of course, I know what will happen in the long run but it is still easier to say "tomorrow na lang" than do things now even if I can do it anyway.
◘ I easily lose interest in my classes. I love studying. I love reading. I love learning. I honestly don't like 'no classes' days because I get bored easily. However, I also have one problem. Whenever I am unfortunate enough to be under those instructors that are either often late or often absent or those instructors who are either so boring or who never teaches anything with sense at all, I lose interest and stops attending classes. I don't believe that attending these classes are of any worth to me because I am not learning anything from it anyway. So why would I waste time in class when I could have a boredom-free period in front of the computer?
Of course, it does affects my grades because some of these teachers (though not worthy to be called one) would rely on the attendance sheet by the end of the sem. As if it matters that you are always present in class if you don't even learn anything.
◘ Just plain Lazy. I don't study my lessons. I don't do what I have to do. I don't attend some of my classes. Just Because.
◘ If I don't see the worth then I won't. Nothing to do with material things of course. But when it comes to my classes, when I can't see the point of attending a class I just don't. I mean, if I don't see the subject worth attending (i.e Humanities, History, or any classes taught by the Great Happiness and The Dirty Old Man) I don't attend it. Of course I would have to suffer after but I always rationalize that at least I've escaped from their really boring and totally senseless lectures (or- in some cases- the lack of it).
◘ The Great Over-spender. I. JUST. CAN'T. STOP. MYSELF. FROM. OVER-SPENDING. Not that I buy expensive things because I don't. I am not materialistic, I am more of a "food person". It has something to do with softdrinks and junkfoods. Imagine spending money on something you know can't do anything good to you. Of course I know but you know how tempting an ice-cold softdrink can be.
Of course, these are just some of the things I don't like about myself and I'm trying to change. I'm so far from succeeding though, seeing that I am my greatest enemy and I think I am keeping a quite good fight.
I sometimes wish I could just wrestle with somebody instead of fighting with myself. You know why? Because I always lose!
Who wouldn't if you're as stupid as I am?
0 blabblers:
Post a Comment