A Love Story In the Making

Exactly a year ago I packed my bags and came to Cebu City with a lot of trepidation in my heart and a feeling of excitement, mingled with a feeling of loss. Back then, I only knew less than ten people in the city, have barely enough money and doesn’t know anything about Cebu other than the airport, Magellan’s cross and the Taoist Temple.

These days, i can barely recall the feeling i had back then. Instead, i find myself wondering why i didn’t come sooner.

To be honest, i never really had any plans of coming to Cebu. In all the places in the country, this is one place that is not even in my bucket list. I remembered how, out of the blue, i just found myself browsing for rental places in Cebu. I’m not sure what really started it but there were a lot of things that motivated me to fly out of my comfort zone and spread my wings in a place where I hardly know anyone and everyone can hardly understand me.

I remembered how frustrated I was in my old company; how i drag myself each day and how depressed i was with most people around me. I remembered how i felt the last time i pressed the phone button to log out. I remembered how great it felt, like i was set free. Most of all, i remembered the first time Chase called and the feeling when i was told that i passed all the interviews. Everything was a blur after that.

Then, Cebu. How shall i begin to describe you, oh Queen City of the South? How shall i begin with our story?

It wasn’t love at first sight, that I tell you. The first thing I thought of minutes after leaving the airport was, “great! Bumper to bumper under the heat of the midday sun!” Right there, my doubts started to creep again. I came from a city, but a provincial one. We hardly have any traffic congestion and getting stuck in traffic is the one thing I hate most.

I thought, how could i possibly live here? All i see are buildings, i can hardly communicate with the people and i hardly know anyone. I felt so alone and helpless. Days past and a part of me I never knew existed surfaced. One day, I was eating alone and suddenly found myself teary. I have never felt so alone, not even during my first year in Dumaguete.

You see, I always prided myself for being independent. I always wander alone and eat alone wherever i am. There are a few things that can make me cry and eating alone in a crowded mall is definitely not one of those things. But just barely days here, I found myself losing control of the one thing I’ve always been able to hold back: my emotions. I don’t know what’s in this city but here, i became human.

Days, weeks, months passed and my circle of friends grew. I discovered things and slowly gained my confidence and started to wander off alone again. I found myself happier than i ever was. I found myself with a more defined goal and looking forward to more adventures. True, i got lost so many times and there are times when i start to feel lonely but i was never depressed here.

How can i better describe this? I guess it’s like falling in love with the last person you expect to fall for. It is surprising, sometimes confusing but very exciting. This is how I feel about Cebu and its people.

Yes, i am falling in love with Cebu. The city has offered me something that I’ve always wanted, freedom and independence. If a man can offer me this, i’ll marry him right away.

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What?s Next?

We haven’t even recovered yet from the devastating earthquake we experienced last October, the planet has decided to once again choose us for another calamity. The Super Typhoon Yolanda, (international name: Haiyan) has caused so much grief and proved more deadly than the magnitude 7earthquake that topled century old churches in the province of Bohol.

Until now, thousands are missing and millions are homeless and hungry. Provinces along the typhoon’s path were left devastated with infrastructures damaged beyond repair. So many lives were lost and so many loved ones still unaccounted for.

And now, just barely 4days since Yolanda made landfall, here comes another typhoon wrecking havoc to the already devasted provinces that Yolanda left behind. As unbelievable as it may be, we also still feel strong aftershocks as a result of the October earthquake.

Sometimes, i am tempted to ask, what did we ever do to deserve this? Sometimes it feels like we are being punished for something.

Looking at photos and watching the news coverage about the typhoon breaks my heart. It makes me teary just looking at all those people with almost nothing to eat, no houses to go home to and not even clean water to drink. Our donations wilm not be enough ease their suffering. In Tacloban city and Samar, everyone has lost a loved one and barely trying to survive. In northern Cebu, Negros occidental, Mindoro and Palawan, the people are trying to rebuild their lives.

We are still looking for loved ones. We are still hoping that they are alive and safe. We are praying for everyone. We are doing our best to help. I’m not rich but I do hope our meager donations can help those in need.

At this point, i can only pray that end this year with no more tragedy. Our country has suffered enough already.

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Stupid Voters

i am a Filipino but I believe that we have the most stupid voters ever. In this country, you will get a vote for any of the following reasons:

a.) you are popular (i.e, movie star popular)
b.) your parents are popular (i.e, politicians, former politicians)
c.) you paid people to vote for you

In this country, only a very few votes for someone because they really believe and trust in the capability of that person. In this country, few people takes elections seriously.

I went home to my hometown to vote and to say that I am disappointed is an understatement. I saw blatant vote buying either thru cash or goods. Pathetic and desperate attempts by candidates to convince people to vote for them. If you are confident that you have the capability to be a leader and if your main reason for running is because you want to serve this country, then there should be no need or you to pay people to vote for you. Your track record should be enough. Or in the ideal world, it should be enough.

Wherever I go, I hear people talking about who paid the biggest and who they're not going to vote because they did not receive anything from that person or because that person paid less. Vote buying has been so ingrained in our society that it has become a twisted social norm. People are not even ashamed of declaring that they sell their votes to the highest bidder. What a shame. Stupid, stupid voters. Hearing these people makes me want to choke them to death.

People who sell their votes and people who buy votes are the reasons why this country is what it is. We should be smart enough to give our votes only to the people who really deserves to be voted and not those who just pay to be in power.

Another thing, popularity. I often hear people say that they are going to vote for someone because he| she is popular and/or that person's parents are popular. This is not a popularity contest! This is an election! This is something that will determine the state of this country for the next three-six years. Just because someone is popular doesn't mean that they are capable. Hell, look at those people you voted in the senate!

The results of this election is very very important to the future of this country. If we don't choose well, we are the ones who are going to suffer. Think about those lame leaders that we have whose only saving grace is their popularity. Think about them and what they have done for this country. Nothing. They are mere decorations in congress and in the senate. Think about those politicians you voted because they're families are the ruling party. Think about how they useless they are. Projects go to those people who supports them and to those places they have businesses at.

When I go home and see the same thing I've been seeing for the last 24 years, i know we have chosen the wrong people again. Well, they are the same people who's been there for as long as I can remember so that probably explains it.

You know why we are still suffering? Because we have stupid voters and stupid politicians. You know why we don't have the right to complain about these politicians? because who are the stupid people who gave them power anyway? If you are not satisfied at how things are run in this country, election time is the best time for you to show your displeasure. But what do we do? We sell our votes. We make elections a festival of stupidity.

So, to all those people who sold their votes and those who voted for popularity.... I HATE YOU ALL! If you are just going to sell your votes, do us a favor and don't vote at all. We will never see real progress because of you. You are the reason why we have parasites in power. Shame on you! We have to wait for another three years and I hope you have better brains by then. Learn your lessons already people. We've been at this for a very long time already.

ASEAN is love.

I am proud to be asian. I believe that we are the luckiest people in the world. My country in particular may not be a first world country but it rich in everything a first world country is not.

Asian cultures are unique. We belong to a region that blessed with natural resources, rich culture, and proud people. I believe asians are beautiful regarless from what country they are. It is a unique kind of beauty that stands out.

got this photo of course from the ASEAN Community page.
Amazingly, this is from the Philippines.

I am particularly proud to be part of the ASEAN. Whenever I see photos of our region, I am amazed by how beautiful it is. I always look forward to see these photos in my Facebook news feed. The ASEAN community page in FB is really helpful in enriching our knowledge about our region.

To be honest, I never realized before how beautiful this places are. I always dreams of travelling outside the country but never really considered going to any of these countries before. Then I came across the ASEAN community page and I saw how beautiful it is. Now I know that when the time comes that I am ready to go, I will definitely visit these countries first.

Have you see the beautiful beaches of Laos? Or Malaysia? What about the ancient pagodas of Cambodia? Or the temples of Thailand? I especially want to see the temples and those ancient statues. How great would it be to take photos of those?

So, I have decided that I am going to practice my photography really well. Then someday when I am really really good already, I will go to these countries and take the most beautiful photos I could take. I know photographic skills are not really a requirement to visit these countries but I want to give justice to its beauty and share it to the world.

For now, I'll enjoy watching them in my news feed. You might probably enjoy them too! Here, check out the ASEAN Community page.

A Summer Adventure

Months ago, we decided that for our next summer reunion we will be going to Bohol for some fun and adventure.

Here are some photos:

i love snakes.

fr L-R: Joel, Cathy,Noriel, Marga, Me, Mommy Maja

challenge accepted.

... and I took The Plunge.

i'm a butterfly!

I was really satisfied with The Plunge as it was really exciting. Swinging like a pendulum, suspended in mid-air with only a cable attached to the body, it all feels surreal. When you're up there in the air, everything else seemed so trivial and unimportant. The cool breeze, the majestic view, the mountains, the sun. Everything was in my element. Everything felt so perfect. I felt so free and humbled by the breathtaking view before me.

If I could choose to freeze and relive a moment in my life, I would choose that five minute of tranquility. The feeling is beyond description.

bombs and babies.

at work the other day, I read about this abortion clinic in Philadelphia whose doctor killed babies by cutting their spinal cords with scissors---how cruel! then, when I got home I saw on TV the news about a bomb exploding inside a bus in Makati.

He induced labor, forced the live birth of viable babies in the sixth, seventh, eighth month of pregnancy and then killed those babies by cutting into the back of the neck with scissors and severing their spinal cord,"

reading these lines gives me goosebumps... it seems like a line from a horror novel and I find myself wishing that it is nothing more than a line from a horror novel. It is so ghastly and inhumane that I can't help but ask what these people were thinking.

it is often said that intelligence makes humans different from animals. Personally, i think it is more than intelligence. What distinguishes humans from animals is our ability to feel guilt. Humans have conscience. But what about these people?

What would bombing a busload of people gain? What would killing each other gain? Is there no other way to solve the conflicts of the world other than violence? Is there a satisfaction in gaining a lot of money by sacrificing little children?

can we call this doctor human? can we call these terrorists human? do they even feel guilt?
I wonder.

The Unspoken Reality: Sexual Harassment in the Educational Environment

“Dili jud ko ganahan ana niya na maestro kay manghikap man na siya…” [I really don't like that teacher, he likes to grope...]Ana (not her real name) confided to her friends. An unwitting victim of sexual harassment, Ana and many other students in the university prefers to talk about their experience with their friends than report them to authorities.

The Problem: An overview

Despite the laws passed against sexual harassment, the problem has continued to silently exist not only in the academe but even in other sectors of the society. Though there had been no official record of sexual harassment incidents in schools found in the city, yet it could not negate the existence of the problem.

In Negros Oriental State University, a number of female students have been victims of sexual harassment. But despite the number of students claiming that their stories are true, the university has no official record of such incidents.

Stories such as the one related by Liezel (name withheld), who was harassed by her instructor, are known among the students but is unknown to school authorities. According to Liezel, one of her teachers flirted with her and invited her to go out for a date. She added that she agreed on the teacher’s invitation to roam the city in his car but she was with a friend. Liezel narrated that when they stopped in a place; the teacher transferred in the backseat of the car and started to touch some parts of her body.

Liezel was alone in her experience however. In the following days the teacher diverted his attention to another student. Liezel shared that her classmate was so scared because their teacher told her that he will only release her class card if the student agrees to go out with him.

Despite the extent of the abuse the incident, like many other incidents of physical and sexual abuse in the university, was not reported to school authorities.

According to the sexualharassment.org, a site maintained by an American organization against sexual harassment, "Sexual harassment is common at every stage of education. Verbal and physical harassment begins in elementary school, and 4 out of 5 children experience some form of sexual harassment... Eight out of 10 will experience this at some point in their school lives, and roughly 25 percent will experience this often. Six out of 10 students will experience some form of physical sexual harassment."

Gender Watch Against Violence and Exploitation (GWAVE) Legal Assistant Sheena Alesve explained that the reason why students do not complain about the incident because they are often threatened by the teacher. Alesve said that the teacher, or any other assailant, often use their authority or power over the victim to control the latter.

A Deafening Silence

Although the idea of sexual harassment is not uncommon among students, a lot of them are still unaware that they had been a victim of such. Many of these students would prefer to talk about the incident like it was normal and very few would actually consider reporting it to school authorities.

In an interview with NORSU Student Affairs Director (SAO), Mr. William Aranas shared that though he had heard of stories about instructors harassing their students by maliciously touching them or giving lewd remarks, there had been no actual report filed in his office.

“The student’s official complaint is important because even if the incident really happened, if there is no official complaint the school could not pursue the matter and do something about it,” Aranas said. He shared that many times he had heard of stories accusing instructors of sexual harassment but he could not do anything about it because most of the time the students refuses to file a formal complaint out of fear.

Aranas also said that the students refuse to complain because they think that if they ignore the problem, the harassment will stop. Meanwhile, some of the victims are too embarrassed to even mention the incident or thinks that nothing can be done to stop the harassment.

According to sexualharassmentsupport.org, an online site meant to support and give information on the subject, “In truth, sexual harassment actually relies on a victim's uncertainty about how to describe, and label, what is happening to them. A rape victim knows when they have been raped, but sexual harassment victims often do not understand what they are experiencing, or even why they are being hurt by it. Even if they can describe the experience to themselves, victims often differ in their willingness to accept what is happening.”

The site furthered that because the victim is often misunderstood when relating the experiences, the victim often do not talk about the incident at all.

This is particularly true in the university. Even if victims were encouraged by their friends to report the incident to school authorities, most of the victims would prefer to keep mum on the issue while others would admit that they are embarrassed to report about what happened to them.

G-WAVE paralegal officer Brigette Frederix said that it is really important for the victims to report the incident so proper measures could be done.

The Snag

Despite the prevalence of sexual harassment in the country, the issue is not thoroughly discussed even in the academe. A lot of these students who were harassed, often by their instructors and others figures of authority, are unaware that what they are experiencing can actually be constituted as sexual harassment. Amazingly, even some of the culprits are unaware that what they are doing can already be considered as sexual harassment.

Though the victims are aware that what is happening to them is no longer normal, a lot of times they are unaware that they could actually do something about it.

Even if organizations such as GWAVE exists to help address the problem on sexual harassment, a lot of people still does not know the full extent of the law and what it covers.

The Law

In order to protect women against abuses, whether physical, sexual or psychological, the government has enacted laws such as the Republic Act 7877 or the Anti-Sexual harassment Act of 1995 and the R.A 9262 known as the Violence Against Women and Children Act of 2003. The Anti-Sexual Harassment Act of 1995 states that sexual harassment is committed when sexual favor is made in condition to, in the case of the educational sector, “giving of a passing grade, granting of honors and scholarships, payment of a stipend, allowance or other benefits, privileges, or consideration.”

On the other hand, the R.A 9262 is briefly defined as “an act defining violence against women and their children, providing for protective measures for victims, prescribing penalties therefore, and for other purposes.” This law, enacted on July 2003, considers sexual harassment as an act of sexual violence and is punishable under the said law.

According to the law, any act that could result to the physical, sexual, psychological harm or abuse, harassment, deprivation of liberty and coercion is a violation of the R.A 9262.

GWAVE explains that sexual harassment is not only limited to acts of lasciviousness against a victim. They explained that sexual harassment could be verbal in the form of lewd or malicious remarks.

According to the sexualharassmentsupport.org, sexual harassment is not actually about sex. The site claimed that the core of the problem is the abuse of authority and not sex or romantic interest. Sexual harassment, according to the site, includes uninvited touching or hugging, requesting sexual favors for rewards related to school or work, suggestive jokes of sexual nature, forcing the person to watch pornographic materials, unwelcome flirtations or propositions, obscene gestures, written notes of sexual nature and stalking.

Violation of the R.A 7877 or the Sexual Harassment Law of 1995 is punishable by imprisonment of no more than six months and fine of not less than P10, 000 in the Philippines.

The possible solution

While there government has provided laws in an attempt to protect women from abuses, the cooperation of the public is still important.

According to SAO Director Aranas, the problem on sexual harassment and any other such problems cannot be quantified nor controlled because the victim themselves do not cooperate. This sentiment was shared by GWAVE representatives as they explain how important it is for the victims to speak up.

Aranas furthered that if ever there is a complaint, most often than not, it would be settled before the complainant could actually file a formal complaint. “The problem is that, the complainant usually agrees for settlements right away” Aranas shared. In his part, Aranas is encouraging the students to be more vigilant and more vocal not only in cases of sexual harassment so that the school can do something about the problem.

As one, the authorities agree that the problem on sexual harassment can only be prevented if the victims would start coming out and report their cases.

[this is a report passed for one of my major subjects]