and this is reality.

Formal attires minus the make-up, a daily routine of waking up and going to work, a daily serving of pancit canton. My life has become a cliche of everything I’ve always wanted to escape from. It has become a life of routines and endless monotony.

What I really need right now is a dose of adrenaline to break this monotony. I need a moment of excitement that would make waking up in the wee hours of the morning bearable. I need something to look forward to.

Truth is, I need a taste of my former life. Not the life of a student because it only means boredom without income. I need the excitement of news-gathering. I need the excitement of interviewing people, going to different places, riding habal-habal, walking kilometers of dirt road just to get a good story. I need the fulfillment of knowing that you are making a difference no matter how small it may be. I need to confirm to myself that my life is still worth living.

The worst thing about this job is not the irate callers I get everyday, it’s the routine. Everyday I wake knowing in detail what will happen on that day. The moment I open my eyes my body automatically moves like a robot doing the things it has always done before.

I do believe in the saying that no matter how high your salary is, if you don’t love what you are doing it will still feel like your dragging chains everyday. Sometimes I ask myself if it is still worth it. I love the financial independence it provides me. I love the fact that I earn more than the average Filipino. I love it that I can actually buy what I want and what I need as well as what the people I love needs. But is that all there is to it?

I am bearing the boredom because the pay is great. That’s a truth. But sometimes, even receiving the pay is not enough to relieve the stress.

I miss the pressure of journalism. I miss the pressure of passing an article on time, running after sources, and staying awake in the middle of the night and wee hours in the morning to finish an article. I miss squeezing my brain for ideas so I can finish topics assigned to me. I miss the pressure of coming up with a quality article and the pressure of receiving the corrected copy of it. I miss seeing the red ink outlining the things I did wrong and the data I need to make it better. But most of all, I miss the feeling of excitement whenever I wake up in the morning and wondering what will happen on that day.

Everything in my life now is the opposite of the life I love. Journalism may not be a good paying job but the fulfillment it gives you is something that no amount of money can ever pay. Likewise, thousands of pesos in salary is not enough to break the boredom of endless routines.

And after a year of being in this job, i realized one important thing about me--- journalism will always be my first and only love.

he's you're father dumbass!

almost the end of my shift today, I got a call from an old man who--according to him--is handicapped. He upgraded his internet speed and I need to make sure he is getting the right speed before I get off the phone. He was so nice and polite (unlike most of my customers) that I gladly helped him (no joke! cross my heart).

From the onset he told me he couldn't run up and down the stairs so he is asking his son to do the troubleshooting. Everything was easy at first because all i need to do is provision his modem and do the basic troubleshooting steps. Well, registering his modem is easy and I can refresh his modem from the system so no problem there. But he was mentioning a router and we do need to refresh his computer and he had to ask his son to do it for him.

and that's when I got pissed off.

The man was asking his son if he can refresh the router and the son was yelling at him asking if it was the modem or his router that the old man wants refreshed. Well, I'm pretty sure the old man was not deaf since he had no trouble hearing me the whole time. I guess the dumb-ass son is just plain rude.

So we continued troubleshooting. I give the instruction to the father and the father relays the instruction to his dumb-ass son and the stupid son keeps on yelling at his father. Apparently, the router was not connected and the father was simply asking if it was connected or not. The question is answerable by yes and no and there is really no need to scream at his father. I mean, his father upgraded the internet speed so the dumb-ass son can have a better internet speed and the ungrateful asshole yells at his father like he was yelling to a five year old kid. jerk.

even on the phone i can sense the father's embarrassment and he was apologizing for his son and making excuses for him. i was so pissed off that i was tempted to tell the father to kick his dumb-ass son so hard until he realizes how much of a jerk he is. in fact, i was thinking that if I was inside their house at that very moment i would have kicked him myself.

how ungrateful. how rude. just because he knows more about computers than his father doesn't mean he can just scream at him.

i admit i can be a bitch to my parents sometimes but i never screamed at them or think of them as somebody lower than me. hell, parents suffered a lot of their children and they don't deserved to be treated like dirt. i may know things my parents doesn't but i also know that i will never have the chance to know what i know if they did not give me the opportunity to.

so whoever you are you dumb-ass, someday you will regret everything!