today i am thankful that i am just paranoid.

today, i lost my sense of self-preservation and spaced-out so bad that i did something really stupid. it's a good thing i'm just paranoid because the alternate scenario is something too difficult to imagine.

today, instead of getting on a bus to bring me back to the to Bacolod, I instead rode a taxi who has no business picking up passengers in my hometown. how stupid can you be right? space out girl + unknown taxi   + unknown passengers= perfect recipe for disaster.

when i arrived at the bus terminal, the taxi was parked on the side. i was about to make my way to the bus when a two men approached me and told me that the taxi is also on its way back to Bacolod and offers lower fare compared to the bus. according to them, the driver was hired by someone to drive them to my hometown and wants passengers on his way back to make it worthwhile perhaps. that's not surprising at all actually since most drivers would actually do that. what's surprising is my reaction. apparently, i just let them led me to the car and went inside and actually only realized the horror of what i did when the car was already on its way and i realized that i am in a car with four strangers. huh! that's four strangers who are bigger and most likely stronger than me.

no, i did not panic. i actually don't panic in emergency/dangerous situations. when i was in high school my classmates call me stoic, because apparently i am a stoic. anyway, i did not panic but alarms are going off in my head. i looked around trying to get the body number of the taxi which is usually printed by the side of the window. finding none, i stared intently at the ID hanging by the driver's mirror and texted the info to my friend  while crossing my finger and hoping that i'm just being paranoid.

thank God i am just paranoid. just imagine how it would be like if it turns out that i am not being paranoid and i was really in danger. as i was sitting there and lecturing myself about how stupid i am for doing such a thing, i tried to analyze the people i am with. as best as i can, i tried to gauge their strengths and my chances of escaping if necessary. i calculated that i will most likely end up dead and my chances of escaping is next to  none. so i did what most people would do, i crossed my fingers and prayed that i am wrong and i will get back to Bacolod safe.

well, i did. i'm still lucky! i assure you though, that is not going to happen again. i may not be as lucky next time.