although i did have a lot of things to do (which i haven't successfully finish doing yet), the only reason why i haven't been able to blog is because i've been lazy. i've been meaning to post a lot of things here but the moment i see my bed, i lie down and fall asleep.
for the sake of shameless record keeping, here's what happened:
i, of course already got the confirmation from my new employer that i have been hired and was already given my start date which is of course tentative until i pass all necessary documents. i was ready to pass my resignation letter when i was informed that i will be transferred to a new team.
well, this is how i felt: nothing.
probably i did feel a bit sad that i was transferred to a new team and the prospect of adjusting to new people again irks me a bit too. probably i did feel a bit displaced for a few seconds thinking that i was let go because i am not worth keeping in a team (which is most likely true since i've never been good with group works ever since). and probably i found myself laughing a bit inside when i realized that i am not staying anyway and the hell i care if i get transferred. that made me feel better.
on the 30th of october, i approached my new supervisor and told her without hesitation that i am resigning. although not really obligated to do it, i felt like i must at least give her the heads-up that i am passing my resignation letter the next night. and so on Halloween Night, i passed my resignation letter and started my counted to freedom.
life has been harder since then.
my schedule changed to an early shift and though going out early than usual is a really welcomed prospect, waking up early is not. the fact that i know that my scorecard for this month won't really matter anymore since i am resigning makes it 10x harder for me to wake up and drag myself to the bathroom at night. i don't want to just miss work like that because it would be unprofessional. just because i am leaving the company doesn't mean i should start harming it.
i guess it is true that if something is meant to happen, then it will and if you still doubt the reason why it is happening, the universe itself will give you all the reason why your decision is for good. that is how i felt that past days now.
seeing the duplicitous smile in some people's faces and seeing how they treat you like you don't exist and ignoring you like never knew each other every day is enough confirmation to myself that i made the right decision. add to that of course the increasing rudeness and stupidity of the people i talk to everyday and God, i am ready to go!
i honestly feel like the universe is giving me all the reason to go, it is making me see why i have to go and it is also making me experience all these crap so when i finally walk out that door for the last time i will get to feel like i just won a million bucks.
i will miss it of course. all the people i've met and worked with. all the the fun, frustration, the perks and all the things i experienced and learned will be remembered and missed.
but i am ready to go.
a month ago i was confused and a bit undecided. like always, there are people who discourages me and there are some whose actions indirectly encourages me to go.
now i am ready. no more second thoughts. what my life will be like after this month is something that i have decided to live with whatever it may be. like always, i will face the consequences of this action no matter how hard it will be.
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