i'm not sure why...

i am browsing through one of my favorite blogs and out of the blue, i just found myself crying. i am not even reading anything sad. i just feel so down since earlier and i just feel so sad.

i know, it's my birthday. i have to be happy today. but whenever i think about it, i feel like crying. i don't know why but i feel so sad and so alone right now. i smile when people greet me. i joke with my friends. but deep inside, i feel this sting and i feel so phony because i know that all i really want is to curl up and cry.

is it because deep inside, i really want to be with the people who really cares for me? is it because the people who loves me, my friends and family, are all far from me?

i don't know. i want to be happy. and even just for a day, i want this pain to stop.