"You are ugly. no one would every like you. you might as well die."

"You are ugly. no one would every like you. you might as well die."

Would you believe these words came from the mouth of a child? It did. I remembered it very well. They were laughing like hyenas, gleeful that they have found someone to torment. They wanted to make me cry and they almost succeeded.

I don't remember what started it or don't even know why they liked tormenting me. Probably because I am skinny and looks weaker compared to other students. But there they were, they hounded me from third grade up until I finished elementary.

I remembered when it started though. I was in third grade and was walking back to our classroom. Out of nowhere, a boy from another section hurriedly walked beside me and told me "you have to run. they will get you." I did not understand of course. I just looked at him and kept walking. Then I saw them. They were boys from the lower section who has spent some time in the same grade level. I didn't know them then and did not even know of their existence up until that very moment. I only know they are from the last section because they were in front of their classroom.

I did not mind them but I was on alert already. I couldn't shake the feeling that something is going to happen and growing up with an older brother who is always up to something has taught me to listen to my instincts. When I feel danger, it almost always means I am in danger.

I am not sure why but up until today, I can vividly remember that day like it only happened yesterday. I remembered how those guys are flexing their muscles and grinning like they just found something so amusing. I remembered how they tried to block my way and how i ran the short distance from where they were at to the safety of our classroom.

Since that day, they made it a point to bother me every single day. I did not realize it then but I was bullied everyday for four whole years. Not a day would pass that they wouldn't be there and try to make me cry. I guess I was already insensitive back then as I am now because I never remember crying. I do remember the fights though. Those fistfights were the highlights of my elementary life. Seriously.

You see, I grew up with an older brother who is only a year older than me. For those who have older brothers, you know how life can be. Growing up with my brother, I learned to fight and I learned not to cry because crying will only make things worst. I grew up with friends who are not troublemakers but will never back down when someone messes up with them. And although I don't realize it back then, I have grown up with people who taught me to fight and never submit to people who tries to make my life a living hell.

So, that was their mistake. In fairness to them though, they were determined and persistent. They do it everyday with no fail from 3rd grade up until we finished 6th grade. Almost everyday we punch each other, kick each other and even throw stones at each other. We never got reprimanded nor suspended although the teachers know fully what was happening.

Let me tell you why that is. Here in the Philippines, bullying is not considered a serious matter. Of course I am thankful I was never suspended but I realized lately with all these discussions on bullying that it is something really serious but is totally neglected. Back then, it is enough for tHe teachers tO just tell us to go far from their classrooms even when they know that we are already punching each other. I guess for them, their responsibilities are only limited to what is happening inside their classrooms and whatever happens outside is none of their business. Sad but true.

I am lucky that I was born with a personality that gives less emphasis on what I feel. I was lucky that I am used to being bullied by my brother for as long as I can remember that I already learned how to fight back and make a stand. I am lucky that I grew up with people who taught me to be brave and never back down. I am lucky because I survived those four years without any scars or lasting trauma.

But you see, not everyone are lucky enough to be given the resources that I had back then. What about the others? What about those students who can't do anything but cry and keep silent? What about those who are being bullied and has no one to tell to or is afraid to tell anyone?

Bullying is a serious matter that has never been addressed in this country. If lawmakers did try to address it, I am not sure that the people concerned are equipped to deal with it. For some, bullying is nothing serious. "Away bata" they call it. They thought it is something that we will just eventually outgrow.

The thing is, it is serious and the effects of bullying does not end the moment you keep a distance from the bullies. It is an unseen scar that stays with the victim forever. It affects your self-esteem as well as how you deal with people.

Although it never affected me negatively, still I only survived because I have people who made me stronger. But not everyone has that kind of support around them. If someone already feels lonely or is already experiencing problems at home, the school then becomes their sanctuary. So when someone starts tormenting them in school as well they start to feel alone and insecure.

As for me, as horrible as those days were I thank those boys who bullied me because if not for them I might have grown up a crybaby. Thanks to them, I learned at an early age that there are people who are mean and cruel and they are happy making someonelse's life horrible. From them I learned to fight which helped me alot as time goes by. I learned to react fast in times of danger from all those "ambush" they've done before. From all the emotional torture I became strong. Most of all, I learned that I have to protect mysef because I can't always have someone who will protect me or fight for me. If I have to survive, I have to help myself. And I guess from them, I also learned to be independent.


For those being bullied, don't be afraid to fight back. Remember that they only pick on you because they think you are weaker than them. Fight back and make your stand.