A Test of Courage

isn't it amazing how something that scared you so much is also the same thing that made you so happy?

i would be the world's biggest hypocrite if i say that i was not scared by the prospect of falling from a cliff even if i am attached to a harness. just imagining myself hanging in the air, swinging like a pendulum and completely entrusting my life to a cable that, if fate wills, may snap at any moment and send me literally plunging to my death makes me want to just say no and go home.

i was scared. very scared. despite that, i decided to go ahead and do the plunge.

since the day i viewed the video of The Plunge, i decided that i will have to be the first one in the group to go. i decided that i can't be the second or the third and definitely not the last. this is not because i consider myself brave or better than the others. contrary to that, i decided to go first because i know that if i don't do it i might suddenly realize that i don't have enough courage to do it afterall. i have to do it while i still have the courage to do so, if i wait i may not be able to do it.

so i went first. i was laughing and smiling to hide the fear. deep inside i was shaking. when the guide was giving the instructions, i held on to his every word and clarified each step again and again just to be sure i got it correctly. i listened like my life depends on it (which probably does).

seconds before the free fall, i was hanging there with only one thought in my mind , "what the heck am i doing in here?". half of me wants to scream and back out but the other half tells  me that i should do it and quitting would make me regret forever (plus it would be really embarassing since all the others already decided to push through and its all paid for and non-refundable).

and so it happened, i closed my eyes and i felt my heart beat so fast for a second and when i opened my eyes, i saw something so beautiful i can't find words to describe it.

and while i hang in there, i forgot everything. i forgot the pressure and stress my job gives me. i forgot the many issues i have with myself and some people around me. i forgot about the imprefectness of my life. i forgot everything i was so worried about. most of all, i forgot about my fears. it was replaced by something so beautiful and so pure. i felt free, happy, carefree. i think that moment i discovered what peace of mind meant.

up there, everything else felt unimportant (probably  because if you have your life depend on a single rope, everything else really becomes unimportant). up there,everything is so beautiful. i always loved nature but when i was there, i realized how much that love is. truthfully, i wish it was longer than five minutes.

i would do it again if i will be given the chance. if only to feel that kind of happiness; if only to feel that kind of peace. if only to see that beauty again, i would gladly hang in there for a little bit longer.

probably someday.

A Summer Adventure

Months ago, we decided that for our next summer reunion we will be going to Bohol for some fun and adventure.

Here are some photos:

i love snakes.

fr L-R: Joel, Cathy,Noriel, Marga, Me, Mommy Maja

challenge accepted.

... and I took The Plunge.

i'm a butterfly!

I was really satisfied with The Plunge as it was really exciting. Swinging like a pendulum, suspended in mid-air with only a cable attached to the body, it all feels surreal. When you're up there in the air, everything else seemed so trivial and unimportant. The cool breeze, the majestic view, the mountains, the sun. Everything was in my element. Everything felt so perfect. I felt so free and humbled by the breathtaking view before me.

If I could choose to freeze and relive a moment in my life, I would choose that five minute of tranquility. The feeling is beyond description.

in a few more days...

I like living on the edge. I like situations that pushes me to think of a way out. I feel satisfied when i am pushed outside my comfort zone and I survive it.

Most days, I am a typical lazy person who would rather have my eyeballs glued in my monitor than go out and do something. I love being alone, tapping on my keyboard, watching my favorite anime, downloading movies and listening to my playlist. I prefer the quite, carefree, stress free life. Most days, that is.

photo by: Mary Narvasa

Everyday I live a monotonous life. My activities never vary that even without psychic powers I already know for certain what is going to happen the moment I wake up. Everything is so routine that I can already predict what is going to happen days ahead.

In all those days, I am able to restrain my restless heart. Quenching all desires for anything remotely exciting, I settle to my routines and live each day with as less excitement as possible.

Once in a while though, my wild side comes out. I can never totally restrain my self, this I know. Sooner or later my heart will yearn for some bits of adrenaline. And that's when following the routine starts to feel like a punishment.

So, once in a while I try to statisfy my heart. I go to different places and do things that may not really be adrenaline inducing but would at least calm my restless heart and help it accept my life's routines once again.

It has been more than five months since my restless heart was satisfied. Five months is a long time. For sometime now, there is only one thing in my mind--- extreme adventure.

In a few days time, my heart will be more than satisfied. BOHOL here I come!

Three trips

This year I have and will make three trips.

One: The Birthday Trip.
Destination: Baguio
Date: January 12-15

A soul searching trip if you would prefer to call it that way. This is a trip I made to test my resolve and my courage.

In this trip I learned that I can make things possible if I focus on it and put my whole heart in it. In this trip I learned that I am really a grown up now and can now survive on my own even outside my comfort zone and away from my friends.

Two: The Reunion Trip
Destination: Bohol
Date: May 26-29

My college friends and I have decided that at least once a year we will be making one trip where we can all bond and have fun just like before. More like a team building trip.

This will be a combination of countryside tour and one whole day of Extreme Adventures. Just typing the words "extreme adventure" makes me giddy.

What I expect from this trip? ADRENALINE RUSH and a really really happy time with friends.

Three: Single Ladies Adventure trip
Destination: Baguio City
Date: September 27-October 1

I am not sure if Cathy will still be single by then but who cares, this will be a trip I am looking forward to.

This will be really exciting. Just two ladies out for an adventure. I will definitely spend the next 6 months saving and planning for this day.

With all these planned  activities, who wants to say goodbye to 2012? Yeah, it may not be the best year as far as my health goes but it is sure a great year for some great adventures.

I am super excited over here. Can't wait for the days to move faster. Time for some super great saving!